Okay, maybe it's just me, but I've just got out of the bath.
Why, oh why, do the manufacturers of hair shampoo choose to label their products with minute typefaces on illegible backgrounds?
How many times must I wash my hair with toilet duck before these 'bozos' decide to label their hair products so that your average Johnny can read them! - without wearing glasses or contact lenses?
Most of us enter the bath or shower, sans-eyewear and I'm sure many like me have to guess what they maybe putting on their hair in the way of shampoo.
Many's a time that I've come out smelling of bleach or worse and once or twice with completely different coloured hair!
What the fuck is wrong with these people and their graphic designers in particular. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for good design, but good design means good communication as well as nice 'colours and interesting type> faces' !!!
grump / mumble / mumble / grump grump
good night
Matt
Grumpy
The man who started it all
Monday, July 7, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Internet Chain Letters
A brilliant letter, supposedly written by the 'Big Yin', forwarded to me by Mr. Matthew Alexander - BTW if yo wish to see examples of Matthew's wonderful paintings: www.matthew-alexander.com
The letter:
Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.
And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?
How stupid are we?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!
What a bunch of bullshit. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.
Fuck 'em!!
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
Billy Connolly
PS Send me 15 bucks and then fuck off.
The letter:
Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.
And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?
How stupid are we?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!
What a bunch of bullshit. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.
Fuck 'em!!
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
Billy Connolly
PS Send me 15 bucks and then fuck off.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Formula 1 rules gone nuts
Why is it that a Ferrari driver can cost a lower team, millions of $$ in TV money for next season by taking out a Force India car at Monaco, and not get a penalty, but Hamilton gets a 10 spot one for a racing accident in Canada.
I know Mick has some thoughts about the Silver Surfer, and his heritage, but come on!!
We need a re-think of the leadership in F1 and the FIA. But I guess it's ok to be a sexual perv and run the biggest sporting franchise in the world.
Comments???
I know Mick has some thoughts about the Silver Surfer, and his heritage, but come on!!
We need a re-think of the leadership in F1 and the FIA. But I guess it's ok to be a sexual perv and run the biggest sporting franchise in the world.
Comments???
Friday, June 13, 2008
Now this really gets up my nose. There I am with a nice little filly set-up for cocktails a bit later, and lo and behold a buch of mates bowl into town looking to tie-one-on tonight, which I know is going to turn just plain ugly. And there's a typhoon blowing in! What's a chap supposed to do? Hurumph!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
When they made real cars!!
Ok, I get it you boys feel that you want a little bit of British heritage in you vehicle stable, but this is what you really should have - a classic. John Steed would be so proud!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6HH0n9bPxU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6HH0n9bPxU
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The reason for this blog
I hate to say it - this blog is designed for complaints and moans.
It is not to discuss the merits of certain readers buying, owning, lusting over or searching for a bit of Crewe metal - or is that Dresden? Just buy a VW and save your money. Who won the war anyway??
Saying that, Gazza, any chance I can borrow yours when I go back to Blighty on Hols???
It is not to discuss the merits of certain readers buying, owning, lusting over or searching for a bit of Crewe metal - or is that Dresden? Just buy a VW and save your money. Who won the war anyway??
Saying that, Gazza, any chance I can borrow yours when I go back to Blighty on Hols???
Great comment from Mick
The Silver Surfer a.k.a Mick suggested the following for tele-marketers
try this on them http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8
try this on them http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8
and another thing...
you give your mates the best (liver) years of your life and they never call, send flowers...
bloody wankers
bloody wankers
Monday, June 9, 2008
Gas prices
And another thing, can you believe the bloody price of gas/petrol, when Exxon is making billions in profit. What about the driving masses who rely on their cars and trucks for a livelyhood - the cost of services is starting to sky-rocket because of corporate greed!!!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Tele-marketers
Why is it, when you settle down for a nice afternoon of doing nothing on a Sunday, some little pimpled faced teenager rings the phone and asks you to take a survey on the state of the Texas Environmental movement!!
Don't they now that Sundays are a day of rest, for sitting on the couch, drinking beer and scratching your bollocks!
Don't they now that Sundays are a day of rest, for sitting on the couch, drinking beer and scratching your bollocks!
The thinking behind it all
This article inspired the whole idea for starting a branch of the National Association of Grumpy Clubs here in Dallas. So I guess we are the first International chapter.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2054316/UK-Grumpy-Club-is-now-recruiting.html
The whole concept of "And another thing ....." had been discussed at length at my local - The Lakewood Landing in downtown Dallas. http://www.lakewood-landing.com/
A bunch of British expats gather on a nightly/weekly/daily/hourly basis - depending on the individual, and we have found, that like our fellow brethren in England, we find ourselves putting the world to rights.
If you watch the above video, you will see what we are all about.
More later as I now have to go and make a serious complaint - to who I don't know, but .....
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2054316/UK-Grumpy-Club-is-now-recruiting.html
The whole concept of "And another thing ....." had been discussed at length at my local - The Lakewood Landing in downtown Dallas. http://www.lakewood-landing.com/
A bunch of British expats gather on a nightly/weekly/daily/hourly basis - depending on the individual, and we have found, that like our fellow brethren in England, we find ourselves putting the world to rights.
If you watch the above video, you will see what we are all about.
More later as I now have to go and make a serious complaint - to who I don't know, but .....
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